I moved back to Pune two weeks ago. Previously during my stay I rode a bike (read Activa) A couple of times but this time around I was in for a surprise since I was going to be riding around the city on an Activa borrowed from my mother. Having said that, I am extremely cautious of how I use it, where I park it, so on and so forth. To add to my anxiety I don't even have a driving license and it could make matters bad for me, if caught.
Other than the Puneri way of riding and driving the one thing that absolutely baffles me is the condition of the roads. They aren't bad roads but they are extremely dangerous and can make a new rider like me extremely nervous.
Meet problem no 1
Crossing over from one side of the road to the other.
Try navigating from one side of the road to the other while most other people seem to do it with no fear at all and you try to do so while half staring at the indicator light blinking on your dashboard, the mirror that reflects the traffic speeding towards you from behind and in front to make sure you don't ram into anyone. Others give you a dirty look for not being aware enough to be on the right side from the start.
They say that dogs can smell fear, similarly I think the people on streets of Pune can tell that the rider or driver is new on city roads. I think it must be easy for them to spot a person who follows all traffic rules, one, because the said person does not own a driving license and two, because the person generally likes to follow traffic rules.
Note: It is extremely easy to ride around in Pune without a license if you simply follow all the rules. Although that leads us to the next giant problem.
Meet problem no 2
Returning to a city where all the road directions have been changed
As if it wasn't enough that the PMC got excited and made Fergusson College road and Jangli Maharaj road one way they have gone ahead and made similar such changes on other roads as well. It is all the more difficult for a person like me, who rode around the city on a cycle previously.
I was riding out from Baner to another friend's place in Kalyani Nagar, the other night. After numerous delays caused of work, chilling, smoking up and incorrect estimation of time required I was finally headed to her house. Like any good meaning person I decided to take a short cut into KP through a small lane that connects the crossing at Pune Central, Bund Garden to the North Main road to make it earlier, at least by a few minutes.
As I happily rode straight from Central I realised there was a herd of cars coming my way. I had to take a long route to get to my "short-cut". If I were on a cycle I could have just dodged the oncoming traffic, received a few dirty looks, exchanged a few choiced vernacular words and phrases and all would have been good. But sigh. That did not happen. Mentioning the cycle brings us to our problem no 3
Meet problem no 3
Wearing eye accessories
As a cyclist you never really need any eye-gear to keep them protected because you never hit that kind of colossal speeds that warrant eye protection. However on a motorised vehicle it would be criminal to not keep your eyes protected. So I now wear a transparent eye accessory to keep my eyes safe. It collects sweat on the bridge of my nose. Makes me make funny faces because of that.
On a cycle I would have to just snort out a bug that would have accidentally flown into my nasal or oral cavity. If I were to do that on a bike, I believe, doom is guaranteed, given my regressed motor skills.
And now lets come to problem no 4. The biggest of them all
Meet problem no 4
What the fuck is up with the squiggles?
Now being born and brought up in Pune, I am well aware that everything about Pune is about culture. And all the sub cultures herewith are held on a scale of credibility. The drinking and smoking or smoking up culture is frowned upon and the artistic and creative cultures are beamed upon, if that's a phrase.
So I have a feeling that all those who are left without a vent for all their creativity are bringing it to the road.
In Pune, in the middle of a giant road will be a squiggly ridge. It looks as if a child with a shiny new crayon made of tar went tumbling down most roads in Pune, drawing squigglies all over. These squigglies are my arch nemesis.
These cause at least an inch of difference in the banking of the roads. That too right in the centre. When you are riding on a squiggly you can feel your tyres wobble and your palms getting sweatier from the building anxiety. The squigglies are hard to spot at night because, well, because of problem number 5 of course.
Meet problem number 5
Highlights!
Pune people can be quite the flamboyant lot. And I think the only way they have now decided to flaunt it, is by driving with their headlights in high beam at all times. You are not on a fucking highway, MORONS!
What is with being so flashy, ya? Are we competing with them Delhites? We've already got a trail of our very own gruesome and bone chilling rape and murder cases. And their wedding flashy is the stuff of legend. Why you trying to achieve that with your headlights? Kay hey??
But these stupid cars have an advantage over bikes when it comes to problem no 6
Meet problem number 6
The battlefield roads
So, if the aforementioned problems ain't enough then there is the roads that were being prepared to be redone but for some reason were left unrepaired. Now there is no asking why this happened, because Hello! Pune is the only place in the world where being lazy is respectable, you see.
So maybe these guys just left for an afternoon siesta and forgot all about it.
Anyhow, so I like to call these ones the combed or the battlefield roads. These roads are characterised by long (read pretty much never ending) lines. So imagine a perfectly smooth road and then imagine picking up a giant metal comb and combing them roads like they were the tresses of a Puneri Rapunzel with kaalebhor kes.
Nah? Not exciting enough? Then the alternate reality for these roads could be that there are, maybe, just maybe, monsters that live in Pune that we are completely unaware of.
So....in my head, I think there might be a team of Pune Saviours! With pheta tails and nawari sadi pallus flying for capes. And this road looks like a monster with multi, strong, metal claws that will bring shame to the ever so hot Wolverine, was slain here the previous night. And hence the road has been left as a prestigious mark of the war fought against evil!
So these are my problems with riding in the city of Pune. I have to say that I have become much more appreciative of all those people who have been kind enough to ride me around the city on their bikes, never once complaining of any of these things.
Other than the Puneri way of riding and driving the one thing that absolutely baffles me is the condition of the roads. They aren't bad roads but they are extremely dangerous and can make a new rider like me extremely nervous.
Meet problem no 1
Crossing over from one side of the road to the other.
Try navigating from one side of the road to the other while most other people seem to do it with no fear at all and you try to do so while half staring at the indicator light blinking on your dashboard, the mirror that reflects the traffic speeding towards you from behind and in front to make sure you don't ram into anyone. Others give you a dirty look for not being aware enough to be on the right side from the start.
They say that dogs can smell fear, similarly I think the people on streets of Pune can tell that the rider or driver is new on city roads. I think it must be easy for them to spot a person who follows all traffic rules, one, because the said person does not own a driving license and two, because the person generally likes to follow traffic rules.
Note: It is extremely easy to ride around in Pune without a license if you simply follow all the rules. Although that leads us to the next giant problem.
Meet problem no 2
Returning to a city where all the road directions have been changed
As if it wasn't enough that the PMC got excited and made Fergusson College road and Jangli Maharaj road one way they have gone ahead and made similar such changes on other roads as well. It is all the more difficult for a person like me, who rode around the city on a cycle previously.
I was riding out from Baner to another friend's place in Kalyani Nagar, the other night. After numerous delays caused of work, chilling, smoking up and incorrect estimation of time required I was finally headed to her house. Like any good meaning person I decided to take a short cut into KP through a small lane that connects the crossing at Pune Central, Bund Garden to the North Main road to make it earlier, at least by a few minutes.
As I happily rode straight from Central I realised there was a herd of cars coming my way. I had to take a long route to get to my "short-cut". If I were on a cycle I could have just dodged the oncoming traffic, received a few dirty looks, exchanged a few choiced vernacular words and phrases and all would have been good. But sigh. That did not happen. Mentioning the cycle brings us to our problem no 3
Meet problem no 3
Wearing eye accessories
As a cyclist you never really need any eye-gear to keep them protected because you never hit that kind of colossal speeds that warrant eye protection. However on a motorised vehicle it would be criminal to not keep your eyes protected. So I now wear a transparent eye accessory to keep my eyes safe. It collects sweat on the bridge of my nose. Makes me make funny faces because of that.
On a cycle I would have to just snort out a bug that would have accidentally flown into my nasal or oral cavity. If I were to do that on a bike, I believe, doom is guaranteed, given my regressed motor skills.
And now lets come to problem no 4. The biggest of them all
Meet problem no 4
What the fuck is up with the squiggles?
Now being born and brought up in Pune, I am well aware that everything about Pune is about culture. And all the sub cultures herewith are held on a scale of credibility. The drinking and smoking or smoking up culture is frowned upon and the artistic and creative cultures are beamed upon, if that's a phrase.
So I have a feeling that all those who are left without a vent for all their creativity are bringing it to the road.
In Pune, in the middle of a giant road will be a squiggly ridge. It looks as if a child with a shiny new crayon made of tar went tumbling down most roads in Pune, drawing squigglies all over. These squigglies are my arch nemesis.
These cause at least an inch of difference in the banking of the roads. That too right in the centre. When you are riding on a squiggly you can feel your tyres wobble and your palms getting sweatier from the building anxiety. The squigglies are hard to spot at night because, well, because of problem number 5 of course.
Meet problem number 5
Highlights!
Pune people can be quite the flamboyant lot. And I think the only way they have now decided to flaunt it, is by driving with their headlights in high beam at all times. You are not on a fucking highway, MORONS!
What is with being so flashy, ya? Are we competing with them Delhites? We've already got a trail of our very own gruesome and bone chilling rape and murder cases. And their wedding flashy is the stuff of legend. Why you trying to achieve that with your headlights? Kay hey??
But these stupid cars have an advantage over bikes when it comes to problem no 6
Meet problem number 6
The battlefield roads
So, if the aforementioned problems ain't enough then there is the roads that were being prepared to be redone but for some reason were left unrepaired. Now there is no asking why this happened, because Hello! Pune is the only place in the world where being lazy is respectable, you see.
So maybe these guys just left for an afternoon siesta and forgot all about it.
Anyhow, so I like to call these ones the combed or the battlefield roads. These roads are characterised by long (read pretty much never ending) lines. So imagine a perfectly smooth road and then imagine picking up a giant metal comb and combing them roads like they were the tresses of a Puneri Rapunzel with kaalebhor kes.
Nah? Not exciting enough? Then the alternate reality for these roads could be that there are, maybe, just maybe, monsters that live in Pune that we are completely unaware of.
So....in my head, I think there might be a team of Pune Saviours! With pheta tails and nawari sadi pallus flying for capes. And this road looks like a monster with multi, strong, metal claws that will bring shame to the ever so hot Wolverine, was slain here the previous night. And hence the road has been left as a prestigious mark of the war fought against evil!
So these are my problems with riding in the city of Pune. I have to say that I have become much more appreciative of all those people who have been kind enough to ride me around the city on their bikes, never once complaining of any of these things.
